I'm Done...... Now what!?

I'm done!  I've finished my Bachelor's of Science in Accounting with a minor in Business Administration from the University of Maryland University College (UMUC).  

My friend Brennan and I were able to walk on the same day - it was fun because we both graduated from the same program! 

Walking into the stadium, with the other graduates, I was grateful I decided to walk.  I was a little teary eyed, remembering all the reasons I had stopped going and all the reasons I started back up.  15 years ago I graduated high school and had my life planned out - go to college, get a degree in music and live happily ever after teaching people how music can influence a life.  That dream shattered when I found out I was going deaf in one ear and was told that I couldn't progress in the music program.  Blame it on my young dramatic self - but thought my life was over!  So, I had to leave Logan, moved to Salt Lake and tried to figure out what to do with my horridly plain life...  

Then one of the best jobs landed in my lap, Interior Solutions.  Interior Solutions is an office furniture business and I had the opportunity to move from receptionist to finance during my time there.  I loved my boss Larry, who showed me that I could have a future in accounting if I wanted.  So, I started taking classes at Salt Lake Community College. I enjoyed my beginning classes and talking about what I was learning with Larry and my co-worker Robert.  My years at Interior Solutions came to an end when I made the decision to move to the East Coast and work in a retirement community called Knollwood.  

I had put my schooling on hold again but knew that it was only temporary, so after living in Maryland for a while and applying to a few different schools.  I was able to start school again this time at UMUC, where classes were online and at night so I could still work while attending school.  I thought it would be easy, I missed going to school.  

The feeling of missing school quickly left as I got further along in the program.  Working full-time and going to school full-time is tough.  I felt like I wasn't really present when I was hanging out with my friends, sorry guys!  I was too worried about finishing papers, completing homework and finishing my discussion posts.  Then I had classes like Biology and Statistics which left in tears because the eight week course just wasn't enough to understand all of the material...  oh so many tears!  Thankfully, I had friends that are super smart and willingly spent HOURS helping me understand the material as well.  



This quote perfectly fits everything I've felt over the years:
 
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

I love my numbers, I love my ten-key calculator, I feel like I'm in a career that brings me as much joy as I would have had in music!  So what's next??  I don't know right now.  I have thoughts of completing my masters degree and then getting my CPA, but for now I'll just enjoy a summer of no school!  :)

Some people just make a difference…

The other day I read a post my aunt wrote on Facebook about needing to see blogs updated!  So, I knew that I had to start working on and actually finishing the posts I started a while ago.  But then something else came to mind – my aunt. 

I thought more and more about the impact her and her family made on my life and it is just amazing! 

Growing up, Aunt Pam was literally a second mother to me.  She lived in the house behind my parents and I am pretty sure I spent a lot of time over there, even if she really wanted me to go home.  She was also great at giving me motherly guilt trips and making me apologize to her son Cody when I hit him with the shovel for making me angry.  Still don’t know if I agree with my being the one to apologize for that or not!!  Just kidding……..  almost…… ha ha!   J

Aunt Pam was there for all of the milestones I have reached so far in my life:  birth, baptism, graduation, receiving my endowments (she was my escort), hitting the big 30 – well, actually hitting 29 forever.  Did you know we are the same age now??  It is awesome! 

Thanks for wanting to be a part of my family.  I talk with friends who aren’t fortunate enough to have the relationship my siblings and I have with our aunt.  That makes me sad, because I have learned so much from her over the years! 

I’ll never forget how lucky I was when I went to the hospital and she and Uncle Ken were here to help Erin transition back to work after her first was born and I ended up needing the most help.  I felt terrible that happened, but so grateful that while my mother was trying to get there, I had her! 

She has been there to help my mother through the tough times she has had with me either being stubborn or too emotional (I get that from my dad), or when sad things surface that she needs help dealing with them.  For that I am very grateful!

 

Also, thanks again for making such an awesome birthday cake!!  I don’t know if I will marry before you retire your wedding cake gift – but at least I got one without having to drag a man to the altar!!  Shows that I just might be your favorite niece, right!?!?

I know that if a major disaster hits I am supposed to make my way to Aunt Pam’s house no matter where I happen to be living.  Why?  Well, because between her and Uncle Ken, they have enough food storage to feed the entire state of Utah.  Then there is the fact that she also has toilet seats for 5-gallon buckets – should that need ever arise I would be one happy survivor if I had those! 

Aunt Pam, thank you!  Thanks for being such a great second mom.  For telling me when I was in the wrong but also for sharing in the joy when I did things right.  Thanks for making me a better niece and daughter.  Thanks for being a great sister to my mother – the Lord knew what he was doing when he put you two together! 

 

 

Boston Marathon

For almost a week now, I have tried to handle my emotions and figure out how I wanted to explain what I experienced.  My friends are awesome writers and you can read their experiences here:  Andy's Experience and Rachel's Experience.  Rachel even wrote this song that is very touching and beautiful, "Be Strong."

I got up at 5ish on Monday morning to wish Lindy good luck on her run and to finalize when we were going to see her to cheer her on.  I was so excited and a little teary-eyed because I know how big this race is and I was so proud.  I climbed back on the couch and fell back asleep. 

I woke up later to get ready and also make Lindy's signs.  Rachel, her roommate Chelsee, her friend Jacob, Andy and myself made the trek to the halfway point to cheer Lindy on!  On the drive over I could see a section of road above the freeway where the runners crossed - it was so beautiful I teared up a little bit. 

I was shocked to see how the entire town shut down and cheered as the runners went by - kids, families, friends, stores completely shut down and cheered.  Some runners had their names on their shirts, legs or arms and I cheered for everyone that I could by name!  I hoped that if someone saw Lindy's name on her leg that they would cheer her on for me and all of her friends both in Boston and back at home.  Sadly, even though we received the text saying Lindy had passed the halfway mark, we missed her in the sea of runners.  I was so sad that I wasn't able to personally cheer her on at that point and told myself that I wasn't going to miss her passing the finish line.

Rachel expertly and very quickly drove back to her apartment where we jumped on the T and headed to the finish line.  Once we got off at our stop it pretty much felt like we were cattle.  I quickly lost sight of everyone and joked with the guy in front of me about how "close" we were getting.  I apologized for constantly being pushed into him and he joked about how we were now practically family.  It was funny and helped lighten my panic as I kept thinking in my mind that if anything were to happen I was scared of being trampled.  Little did I know that those fears would become real. 

We got the text message that Lindy passed the finish line, so again we missed her as we were swimming against people trying to make our way down.  We decided to cut down this little alley shortly before the finish line to see if we could meet Lindy at the family meet up area.  I was hoping to go back there as I wanted to see the runners cross over and give a cheer for them since I missed Lindy's big finale! 

We met up with Lindy, she found us actually when we held up her signs to see if that would help her find us, which worked!  :) 

The look on Geno's face when he saw Lindy was priceless!  He was so proud and you could tell!  It made me cry.  And it was around that moment that I remember hearing the first bomb go off.  Honestly, I immediately thought it was a bomb but then knowing that I always jump to the worst in a situation, my next thought was that the scaffolding above the finish line fell which really wasn't any better.  A few seconds later I heard the second bomb and knew that something was seriously wrong.  People were trying to figure it out in our group - construction?  low flying plane?  I entertained those thoughts because I wanted to believe it was that, but knew something was terribly wrong and it was all I could do to stand there and listen.  I wanted to run, and I am not a runner, but I wanted to get out of that area as soon as possible.  We started slowly walking further away from the area as sirens, police, people started yelling and then it was confirmed that there was an explosion at the finish line. 

I went into shock then... 

I heard people around me talking and telling me what to do, but I don't remember if I responded.  All I thought of is how we needed to leave the area and get those I loved away from the danger.  Because I didn't know if this was going to stop or more bombs were going to go off...  and I couldn't let anyone hurt my friends or family because if I wasn't killed in a blast that killed anyone of our group, I wouldn't be okay.

Rachel's roommate Chelsee was a godsend, she knew the transportation system well and got us out of the area as quickly as she could.  I couldn't get calls to go out but was getting text messages here and there so I sent Erin a text to call mom and tell her we were all okay,  We did end up walking the last mile and I only remember crying a couple of times.  Not wanting my friends to see that I was in shock, because I didn't want them to worry about me or think of me as weak I kept quiet.  I was grateful that we made a new friend, Andrew, who had just moved to Boston and needed help navigating the town as he and Lindy had very similar interests and they talked nonstop.  I was glad because I am pretty sure I would have lost it if she started trying to talk with me.

We finally made it to Rachel's and Andy started pulling up the news reports to see what happened.  It was confirmed that there were two bombs and a possible third at the library.  I didn't know where that was in relation to the house, but to me it felt like it was next door.  I was finally able to get a call to my mom and spent the next few minutes not even being able to breathe because I was crying to hard.  I was scared, people had died, at that point they didn't know who did this and if there were more bombs. 

Lindy, Andy and I flew home the next day - the airport was full of runners, supporters trying to make their way home and also security.  We boarded our flight and while we were waiting to taxi to the runway, there were sirens and firetrucks going by.  The pilot got on and started to explain the situation and I felt myself going into shock again.  There was an unexplained fire on an airplane and all I could think about was that the terrorist got past airport security and no place was safe. 

I came back to DC and found that I couldn't sleep - sirens, garbage trucks, really anything would set off a wave of panic attacks and I didn't feel safe.  I went to Erin's house and they welcomed me and it is easy to relax with kids there to occupy your mind.  I also watched with them as we found out who set off the bombs and watched as the final individual was in custody. 

That night I cried again when everyone had gone to bed, I cried in gratitude for how quickly these two were caught.  I cried because he is so young and I want to know why they would do that.  I cried because people are right it was scary, but Boston and our nation are strong.  We rallied and helped in every way we could...  and I cried because I am so grateful to be a part of a nation like this. 

I found out that I will heal, it will take time, but I will be able to hear sirens again and not feel my pulse race, break out in a sweat and continue to breathe.  Because I, like Boston, choose to be strong.  

2012 Gala

The theme for this year's Gala was, "Enduring Valor: Illuminating Traditions of Excellence."  Pretty snazzy, right?  I swore off of doing the silent auction last year and had trained Molly to take over.  Well, Molly decided she liked doing the Silent Auction so much that she wanted to be in charge of the ENTIRE Gala!  Crazy - right!?  (She actually joined our Development team in July and is now over the events for our Foundation.) 

So, being the friend that I am I said I would handle the Silent Auction again this year, but only if I could have Erin helping me.  They quickly agreed and I went to work on ideas of how to present the items.  I spent a ton of time looking at DIY blogs, Pinterest, Michael's to form ideas of how I wanted it to look.  I already knew the colors I wanted and just needed a inviting and creative way to combine everything.  Molly and I had already discussed the previous year about using frames to hold the descriptions of the Silent Auction items and I liked it! 

Erin and I met pretty regularly or were constantly on the phone with ideas and colors and she spent hours and hours at stores purchasing everything.  She also was very instrumental in keeping the design simple and elegant.  She painted all of the frames, candlestick holders, decorative balls, little wooden sticks...  Seriously, so much help!!  We spent a few late nights at the office putting together the descriptions and frames (we were there one night until 3 AM).  But it created a very relaxing environment for the day of the event. 

In the process of getting ready for the Gala, it was announced that it was going to be Black Tie optional...  Oh dear, that meant a floor length dress and it had to be nice.  Luckily, Macy's pulled through and my dress ROCKED!  Major thanks to my mother's surprise visit on my birthday, she took the dress home and took off about 5-6 inches since I am a shorty!  Seriously, I put it on and felt like a princess!  Having never been to Prom, this was my night to get all dressed up and just have fun... 

 So, here are a few pictures from the event.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I couldn't have pulled it off this year if I didn't have Erin with me!  She calmed me down when I was angry and helped me stay calm when my nerves were getting the best of me!  THANK YOU SIS!   :)  I am waiting for Erin to send me the pictures she took on her phone of the two of us - our tradition for the last FIVE Galas!!

My 30th Birthday "Cruise"

My 30th birthday came bright and early...  I got up around 6ish to hit the zoo's new exhibit and then ended up going there again in the afternoon to enjoy the zoo with my family before heading to Erin's for the pool party.  For my birthday, I was informed that I could go to lunch in a restaurant of my choosing (a nice present from my parents)!  I was so excited to go anywhere, only I didn't realize how hard it is working around hungry kids and a pregnant sister!  So it was decided to save that for another day.

Due to the running around in the afternoon and my terrible timing - I was running late...  And I HATE running late!  I drove like a madman to Erin's house knowing I had people there waiting for me to arrive...  I felt TERRIBLE! 

Finally, we pull into the driveway and I grabbed everything from the car and rushed inside.  As soon as Erin spotted me she insisted she bring out the cake....  I hadn't even put down my purse or said hello to my friends!  I told her we could wait a little bit and then sing, but she told me we were doing cake NOW!  I thought it was weird and then in she came - with no cake - but the cake was behind her being carried by - - - - - -   MY MOTHER!!! 

The surprise brought me to tears - I mean who WOULDN'T cry!!! - I sobbed for probably a good 5 minutes.   Then I noticed that Aunt Pam was there too - I couldn't have asked for a better birthday present!  I had my two moms there!  :)

(It should be mentioned that my father even kept this a secret from me!! Way to go Dad!)

My family had decked out the Kitchen and Living Rooms to look like a cruise ship deck and I was in heaven!  The lights on the ceiling where my favorite - thanks Dru!  Here are some pictures to show you just how amazing everything was that night!  BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!! 

I couldn't believe the friends that traveled far and near just to celebrate with me - I won't ever forget!  I am so blessed!  Enjoy some shots courtesy of Cassie!  :)

Daddy's Little Girl!

I honestly think that I am my Dad’s Favorite Girl…  Now, now, sisters – before you get in a tizzy, let me put forth a few examples. 

My father would pull us into his room and give us lecture # 73 – The Tree of Life.  I quickly learned to say I was lost in the Mists of Darkness/Sin and if that didn’t work to pray that my mother would come and break up the four-hour lecture.  I think that my father gave those lectures to me because he wanted to show the other siblings that he wasn’t treating me as his favorite. 

When I wasn’t getting lectures from my father I was working by his side.  I always felt like one of the boys growing up because I helped my father with the farm work, building water pivots, outdoor work, going to farms to “take care” of animals that I would later help cut up and wrap. 

I will never forget the time I learned what my father meant when he was always telling me not to wear loose clothing when changing water lines.  I refused to go out looking like I was working on a farm because I never knew when the neighbor boy would drive by in his tractor!  I realized a little to late that the stylish poncho he kept telling me not to wear was caught in the motor for the water line and my stomach was inches away from being ripped open…  Lo and behold who should drive by but my father!  At first he thought I was just waving to say hello but then realized that something was wrong and leaped from the tractor – I don’t think he even put the brake on!!  That day my father literally saved my life!  He was my hero! 

I also recall the time that we moved into their current house and my brother and I were helping put the barbed wire fence up.  I was in charge of holding the spool of wire – foolishly thinking I would safe if anything happened.  The line my father was tightening ended up breaking and flinging back to find a resting place in my back and shoulder.  My mother decided at that moment to walk out of the house to come over and check on us, my dad looked at me and said not to cry.  We pulled the wire off my back and quickly went back to work; I dared not speak in fear of giving away any sign of pain.  I think my dad was a little scared of my mom!  ;)  Therefore, I was his hero!

I will always remember my dad walking into my room, a month before I was to leave for Bryce Canyon, and literally “helping” me pack my bags.  Then a month later, after visiting me in my new location, giving me a hug and not wanting to let go! 

Sitting here typing this I realized my father has taught me a lot over the years.  He taught me to drive at the young age of twelve.  He taught me how to fish, shoot a gun, play the organ, conduct music (I love conducting MoTab on the radio with you Dad – we are pretty good at it too!), how to work hard, hum while you work, honesty and love. 

Dad, this Father’s Day I want you to look at all of your children and realize just how lucky we are to have you as a father.  I don’t think that you realize what an amazing man you have become over the years.  We have had some rough patches (note that was because of my other siblings – not because of me, the perfect daughter) but we got through them and grew as a family.  Together.  And that is how I picture the years going forward to be like for us…  Well, after the others get over the jealousy of my being your favorite.  J

I love you, you old fart! 

Mother, I Love You!

So, it has literally taken me a few days to figure out how to post a video...  I feel my mad computer skillz have gone down the drain!   :(

Mom,
I made this little video because I wanted to show you how much I love you!  Plus, I am hoping that I will be earning creative bonus points towards being your favorite child!!  :)
I hope you know that you are an amazing woman! 

This is for you...

February - Valentine's Day

February is a month of mixed emotions for me. 

I don't think it is just because I am single either...

This February is the second anniversary of my changing my outlook on life.  Two years ago, February, was one of the hardest months - I made a lot of poor choices and hurt my family. 

This year it hit me extra hard and I was really struggling - then the worst day of the year was around the corner - VALENTINE'S DAY!  A single persons personal Hell...

But something weird happened - I received chocolate covered strawberries from my brother and his family.  They were delicious and helped lighten my dark and sour mood.  The next day I received flowers from another brother, homemade Valentine's from my sister and  her kids, yummy cookies from the parents and then even MORE flowers from my other sister. 

I went home that night and found a lovely card from another brother and a sweet homemade Valentine with yummy suckers from my sister and her family.  It completely made my mood change!

I was brought to tears by the love that my family has for me!  And I know that not because of the flowers, strawberries, cards, suckers and/or cookies....  But because the past two years, they have really been there for me! 

Emailing me loving words of encouragement
Holding me up when I couldn't hold myself
Flying out to see me when things were a little rough
Purchasing a Wii because they knew it made me happy (Thanks Dad - not only am I grateful, but so are all of my Wii Dancing friends!)
Helping me move into a more suitable environment
Cleaning my room of hazardous materials - thanks Erin and April!  :)
Crying with me on the phone when I don't understand things

That to me is L - O - V - E!! 

Family - you mean more to me than life itself...  I am here today because of the love and strength you have shown me!  Thank you for everything. 

I LOVE YOU!!! 

I love you - Zues!

Day 20 - Someone you love.

Dearest Zues,

I just wanted to send out a little note to let you know how much I love you! I still remember the first time I met you and was so excited to have a nephew with such an awesome name! I mean, COME ON, you are ZUES!!! Can't get any cooler than that!

I am amazed at what a strong, kind and loving young man you have become over the years. I just wish that I lived closer to see these changes. You will never know how much I loved hearing you talk about your band, cars, art, etc. I felt that I was young and hip again!

I won't ever forget the car ride from Tridell to Salt Lake when we listened to your music at full blast in my car! I loved every minute of it! I still remember thinking I was going to go hoarse from shouting our conversation over the music. I don't know if I have listened to music that loud since... ;) (hint, hint - time for a visit!)

I hope you know how proud I am of you completing school and starting your career. I am secretly hoping that you move to Tridell, because I think Grandma and Grandpa need someone to keep them in-line!

You always have and will have a special place in my heart! I love you!

Aunt Taci

We are a Happy Family!!!

Day 14 - Picture of you and your family.

I love my family. We are massive and so full of love and acceptance, I can't believe how lucky I am!

I didn't always feel that way though - When I was a little girl I was embarrassed to go out with everyone. I didn't like hearing the comments people would make when twelve (12) individuals exited one vehicle. It made me feel like we were on display or something, it was weird to me.

Then I started to grow up and really see what being part of a large family really was.

I made a list (because I LOVE lists) about why I love being in my family:

1) I never run out of people to talk to.
2) I love to see the shock on friends faces when I tell them how large my family is currently which is 39 (not including the great grandkids or any buns still in the oven). Such a change from when I was younger!! Now, I try to get everyone together just so I can say look at MY family - aren't we AWESOME!
3) I have family members that can help out with loads of everyday things - plumbing, cars, computers, cooking, carpentry, printers, zombies, running, painting, gun safety, home decor, crafts, sewing, painting, anything Apple, phew... that is a lot and I can still name a TON more!
4) I believe we now have birthdays in every month!
5) I get to buy cards in bulk to send for holidays, birthdays, etc.
6) We have to get the family and/or friends to bring their trailers to the parent's house when we all come home for a visit.
7) Each person is very unique and yet the same!
8) We really love to spend time with each other - which is also a change from when we all were younger!
9) Just when you think the family can't get any bigger, you find out another wave of little ones is on it's way!
10) Friends want to go to your house to visit your parents and family, oh, and sometimes you.
11) You always have someone willing to cheer you on, pick you up, or just hold you until things get better!
12) Also, You always have a TON of people to remind you of when you made a fool of yourself and that it is sometimes caught on film! ugh...
13) But you realize that sometimes you are part of something is more special than you could imagine and you feel BLESSED!

Thank you family for making me feel so loved and special!

My letter to you...

Day 13 - A letter to someone

Dear Future Husband,

You have been on my mind a lot lately - could be from the recent wedding of my brother to the death of a friend’s mother… You may wonder why the death of someone would remind me of you, but it is simply because that husband will no longer have the constant companionship that the wife provided in this life. But it reminds me of what I believe in and how families and most importantly a husband and wife are together for eternity. I believe that with all my heart and I hope to share that great blessing with you.

I know that I may get angry when you hog the bed or the covers, leave your dirty socks on the floor or leave a honey-do-list undone. But know that I will get over my anger/frustration. I hope that we won’t go to bed angry or afraid to talk about what is bothering us to each other. Although I am sorta excited for a little argument now and then because, let’s face it, sometimes I like to have a good argument! Sorry, I will try and warn you before you pop any question!

I can’t wait for the day that we will have our own children whether I can provide them or through adoption. I can’t wait to see you hold our son or daughter for the first time because I will be able to see the love you will have for each other. I hope that as they grow we will have to remind each other of the small tender moments because I hear having teenagers can be rough. Although I was a perfect child for my parents – just ask!! So maybe that will rub off on the kids! J

I can tell you now that I am constantly working on being a better and kind person. I am working on things that will make me a better wife and mother and I hope you are doing the same.

I look forward to the day we realize that we are ready to make the big leap together! I love you!

Your Future Wife,

Taci

To My Cousin, Cody

With Memorial Day on Monday and working with retired military officers, I am reminded of so many things that I sometimes take for granted.

I have a home, car, job, freedom, religion and life.

My cousin is leaving for another tour of duty in the Middle East this summer and he has constantly been on my mind. So, I am dedicating this post to him.

Cody and I are close in age which meant that we would play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or soldiers together. Great childhood memories! Now we are both grown and living life in completely different areas. And although we no longer play soldiers, Cody has turned the game into his life.

He has been to the Middle East understanding and willingly laying his life on the line for me, my family, my friends and my country. And he will again.


To Cody - Thank You! Thank you for fighting in a war that I am not physically fighting in. Know that you will have my support 100% in everything you do. You are constantly in my prayers and thoughts. I love you! :)

To those that have fought before - may you rest in peace. I hope as you look down on America you will see many grateful Americans that will always remember what your ultimate sacrifice was for.

Baby Loving!

So, my youngest brother and his wife had a baby this morning! Every time a new little one joins our massive family, I am super-duper excited!!

This being my... 18th? 19th? 20th?? niece to join (I was serious about my massive family!), I thought that the feeling of having a new addition would get old. It NEVER does!

I am dying at the fact that I am not there to cuddle little baby Merkley. I now understand what my siblings must have felt when little Alesa was born. One word which perfectly describes my pain is: AGONY!!

So, my dear new niece... Expect a lot of cuddles, cute outfits and maybe a tear or two when we first meet. And to Cassie, Happy "First" Mother's Day! Love you! Aunt Taci

Celebrate Good TImes - Come On!!!

I finished a program that I was in and was starting work again, therefore, cause for celebration! Erin and Drew picked up a delicious cake and surprised me after dinner!



It was a fun night and showed just how much my family cares about me! :)
The cake was AMAZING! It was an icecream cake with these little crunchy chocolate bits... Jealous!? Thought so! I am now craving one of these cakes... Hmm...

No sleep...

Ever had time periods in your life where you aren't able to sleep all the way through the night? That has been my life for the last month or so!

I crave for those mornings when I wake up and see the sun shining and feel completely rested.

Big thanks to my mother and sister who decided a little trip to Maryland was exactly what Erin and I needed. Mother made wonderful cinnamon rolls, cookies and other goodies! Erin for letting all of us (four additional people) cram into every nook and cranny - good times, which could also be why I haven't slept well. :)

Overall, things are much better! Thanks to my great family!!! :)

Til the next time!!

Taci

P.S. Thanks to Dad for my special gift. I Love You, even if you don't send gifts!!

Tra la la!

In talking with a friend, we were discussing the various ways we relieve the stress we encounter in our everyday lives. I already knew the answer (I find that one quite easy). Music.

Whether I am playing, singing, listening, watching or thinking about it music is not only a huge stress reliever, it is a HUGE part of my life. I remember being a little girl and taking voice lessons and warming up to: "Ma, Me, Mi, Mo, Mu" and one of the first songs I sang was, "Sing, for the Lord is Listening!"

My family has always been musical, we have all been involved in some form of music in during our lifetime. The biggest inspiration was my brother Justin, I will never forget his performances and the excitement I felt when he was up on stage singing. To me, he was a star! My dream to be in a show choir like Stagelight started with Justin and then grew bigger as I watched Matt and Kari also enjoy participating in Stagelight.

My love of music is deep and when I thought that it was over, I felt broken. But, I still have one good ear that I don't think shows any sign in loss of hearing! It has only made my appreciation for still being able to hear something so precious to me deepen.

I am learning the guitar right now, something that I have wanted to do for a long time. I feel like I am doing alright, although I have some sore fingers!

I feel blessed that I can hear harmony in my head while singing, that it is such a natural thing for me to hear. I am grateful to be in a family that has allowed my love for music to grow and parents that paid LOTS of money so I could learn piano, singing and dance. I am especially grateful now when stress is in my life that I have been taught ways to let it out...

Grandparents!

This next blog is dedicated to my grandparents - on both sides.

My dad's parents passed away right after we moved to Tridell, but there are many memories I had spending time with my Merkley Grandparents. One thing I will never forget is my Grandma Merkley's love of Spam, sardines and pig's feet. She only made me eat Spam when she cooked it for breakfast - thank heavens! I don't know what I would have done with sardines and pig's feet, I would feel sick just watching my mother purchase it at the store! :)

My Grandpa Merkley was always such a kind and quiet man to me. I remember his moustache and helping him check on the garden or feed his chickens. I also remember him playing his harmonica when I was a child and I have loved the sound of one ever since.

I found out through a reunion about 2-3 years ago that my grandmother was a prankster and also a beautiful singer. My love for my grandparents, but most importantly my grandmother grew for me when I found that out! I remember when they made a tape of just the two of them singing the "Thank you" song and other simple children's songs... I would listen to it for hours just because I loved hearing them sing.

I was always told that I looked like my dad's mother and when we moved to Tridell, I was often called "Little Esther." I didn't think that I looked anything like my grandmother until I went to college... I was at my cousin LoriAnn's house and there she had a picture of our Grandmother Esther Merkley around my same age and I immediately got goosebumps! I was staring at a picture of me - the only difference was the style of hair... I love to see that picture because each time I am surprised over how much I really do look like her. I am proud to be called "Little Esther!"

My mother's parents live in Sunset, right next to the train tracks. I grew up with them always making sure we had plenty of coloring books and crayons while visiting. I loved to visit and play the piano, I felt so accomplished when I was able to play a simplified hymn and grandma came and told me that I played beautifully. With my grandmother being a twin and having the two of them so close - I feel like I have been given two Grandma Harvey's. I remember at one of the birthday celebrations, I was really young and went up to my Grandma and asked her a question. When she leaned down to me and told me that she was Aunt Veon - I remember being really confused and she just said that it was okay and pointed Grandma out - it was really embarrassing that I couldn't even tell my own Grandmother apart! :)

I loved sitting outside in their backyard and having Grandpa Harvey name off the airplanes flying overhead - he was always right! I always love going to their house, even now, there is always some sort of food to eat and I always feel so much love. I always have to go and check to see if I have grown at all since my last visit - nope. I will then go and see all the birthday's they have placed on their huge calendar! I feel so special to see my name in September - I just love it! Also, how can I forget the beautiful quilt my grandmother made for my 16th Birthday - purple and perfect!!

I am extremely fortunate to have grandparent's who did an excellent job in raising their children, my parents! I think it is hilarious when I see my mother or father do something that I remember my grandparents doing.

To my grandparents - I thank you! I love you! I hope to be the kind of grandparents you have been to me!

Second Chance

Two years ago, I was given a second chance on life.... Literally.

It was the day before my brother Logan's wedding and I decided it was time to get a haircut. I had taken the day off of work to help with the final preparations and spend as much time with my family as possible. Of course, the first step for me was to have my hair cut and styled by my friend Anya. The morning started out typical and like a good girl I ate a healthy breakfast of Captain Crunch and took my medicine.

I arrived at Anya's salon a little early and so I waited in my newly purchased car until she arrived. It was then that I noticed that my chin felt a little funny and upon looking in the mirror could actually see my pulse in my chin. I thought that was a little odd but wasn't too worried. Anya arrived and proceeded to give my hair a nice little choppity-chop!

As my hair was cut shorter, my face literally began to swell shut. Anya kept asking me if I should go to the pharmacy across the street and buy the medicine... I told her I would wait until my hair was finished. I watched as best as I could through swollen eyes as my hands, eyes, mouth and eventually my tongue began to swell shut. It was then I realized something wasn't right. I told Anya that my tongue was swelling and that I needed to go and get the medication NOW!

We arrived at the pharmacy where there was only one really old pharmacist on a phone call. We waited at the counter so we could ask what was the fastest medication I could take to help the swelling go down... He looked over a couple of times, but the phone call was taking forever!! I remember a couple of other people in the store really looking at me and I couldn't figure out why. All of the sudden a wave of dizziness came over me and I ran to a bench before I passed out. Anya was on the phone with my mother and they agreed to take me to the nearest Instacare which was a couple of miles away.

Anya helped me out to the car as I could barely see through my extremely swollen eyelids. We drove approximately .125 miles and I started to feel sick, Anya pulled over and it was a false alarm. She started to pull onto the road again and I yanked the door open and pretty much fell out as I didn't want to get anything on my new car. I remember laying on the ground and couldn't understand why Anya wouldn't let me just lay there. I also remember getting mad at the people who just passed us by because Anya was crying and I didn't have the strength to tell her it was going to be okay. I will never forget Anya saying, "Taci, I just don't know what to do." It was a very scared and lost voice and I remember crying as I prayed that I would have the strength to show her it was okay and I was fine. Eventually I was able to climb back into the car and we made it to the Instacare.

We walked inside and I marched (well in my head I marched) to the front counter and without looking up the nurse asked why I was there. I politely informed her that I thought I was having an allergic reaction, she looked up and from what I could see her face was priceless! She immediately called the nurse and said to take me in the back and started yelling for the doctor. I went in and sat down, the doctor came in and everyone just started running around and looking at the hives which had apparently traveled all over me. I started feeling sick again and they administered the standard medication. The Doctor was yelling that he needed more medication and needed it yesterday!! It's kinda funny looking back. Such a funny guy with a plaid shirt...

Anya was great through the entire ordeal, she patted my leg and I remember her giving them as much information as she could. My parents showed up and where able to give my medical background to the doctors and I was so grateful to have them there. The ambulance was called as the swelling in my mouth hadn't gone down and off I went. As I was being wheeled out the backdoor that the nurses and doctor all stood to the sides grabbing my hands or rubbing my arm wishing me well. I thought they were overreacting a bit at this point, but I was in and out of consciousness so whatever!

In the ambulance, I remember guys with shaved heads and they kept pumping my chest. I tried to tell them that I was pretty sure my heart was still beating but couldn't speak. I arrived at the hospital and was wheeled right into an operating room where they were going to cut open my throat to let air in. I don't remember anything after the ambulance ride, but I am trying to remember what my mom told me. My father and Andrew gave me a blessing and when the doctor did one last check he found some improvement in my condition. Therefore, no need to have any surgery performed! Thank heavens!!!

I had to stay in the hospital for the few more hours and my father stayed with me the entire time. I awoke to the sounds of crinkling paper and turned to see my father eating gummy bears Lindy brought me because he didn't leave even to grab dinner. The doctor showed up and I realized there really are Dr. McDreamy's in the real world. I was informed by Dr. McDreamy that I shouldn't mess with death. I giggled and agreed. He said it wasn't a joke - that even ten seconds later and I may not have made it. Hmm.... Interesting... I informed him that I had no idea what was going on at the time but would pay attention in the future. I was given the okay to leave and climbed back into my car... Then I saw it! I finally saw my face after some of the swelling had gone down. HOLY CRAP!! I quickly forgave the people in the store who gave me funny looks and thought of the movie Hitch when he had his allergic reaction. It's true your face can really look like it did in that movie! CRAZY!!!

Anya arrived shortly after I came home and was able to finish the haircut! I was so grateful to have Anya there to help me in this emergency! I was also extremely grateful to have my parents there as they normally wouldn't have been. I am grateful to have a father and brother-in-law who are worthy and able to administer in a time of need. I am grateful to my entire extended family who said many prayers and sent emails on my behalf. I was reminded how fragile life can be and I won't take that for granted!

In the end, the moral of the story is: If you see your pulse in your chin, RUN to the nearest hospital and ask for Dr. McDreamy!

Chasing Rainbows

The last week it has been rainy here on the East Coast. I have even seen a couple of rainbows, which was very surprising because I didn't think you could see those between the massive buildings here.

I was driving to FHE a couple of days ago and saw a very beautiful rainbow and it reminded me of one of my favorite memories. When I was around 14 and living in Tridell, it was raining really hard one day and then I saw the most beautiful rainbow ever. I went and told my sister Erin, who was 16, to come and check it out. She did a little laugh and then promptly told me to get in the car. When I asked why, she simply stated we were going to chase rainbows.

Really!? I remember looking at her and thinking she was crazy and getting in the car more out of concern rather then looking for an adventure. Off in the van we drove chasing the rainbow and I never had so much fun! We even stopped at one point and got out to run towards it... Obviously we never reached it as I am not sitting upon my pot of gold!

But I have never forgotten how much fun it was to just act silly and have a little one on one time with my sister. Something we didn't do a lot of while we were in our younger years.

So, I hope the next time you see a rainbow you will go and chase it. Leave the worries of the world behind for those few precious moments and just enjoy the chase.

Firsts and Family!

The First Posting...



Well - after visiting the family in Utah I decided I would like to try to keep the family and friends more in the loop of my crazy life here in the "BIG" city. Also because I am sure that my family was tired of hearing me retell stories over and over again because one of the nine siblings wasn't paying attention the first time (which I am sure never happens to anyone else!). But I sure do love them!!!



Speaking of family, I have had multiple shocked co-workers and new friends ask often what life is like coming from a family of ten (10) children all of which are from the same mother and father! The best thing to say is that it was very interesting growing up - I mean I never was included in the "grown-up" conversations until I was 21 or so and will forever be under the "Four Little Kids" category. I will never forget when I was 10 or so coming home from Salt Lake in early February or March and after dropping off my grandparents camper at their house realized that there wasn't room for us to all fit in the truck cab and so Katie and I were nestled in the truck bed in coats, sleeping bags, and with a tarp laid over us to keep in the heat. I honestly think that during that ride home it was the only time Katie and I probably ever willingly hugged each other... Ha ha ha! Don't worry things have since changed in our sisterly relationship! I think that my parents did wonderful in raising us... It was a pretty hard job they had, although my being the perfect angel I was one of the easier cases! I loved that my parents always supported all of my siblings desires even if it meant watching them move thousands of miles away. I love the support that my siblings give each other - through the rough times and the good times. I know in a moments notice my five sisters would come and rescue me from a bad situation through "discussing" everything during a lovely dinner. (You know what I am talking about.) I have four brothers who can intimidate a date just by looking at him... Fair warning was given to all bros-in-law that it was a requirement to look intimidating when needed if they wanted to be in our family. So far, my sisters did alright! Ha ha ha! What could be better than having a large family!? I honestly don't know! I guess what I am trying to say is that I love the family that I was born into!! Even when I had to make buckets of curly fries, be on a leash in Disneyland, watch people stand and count how many kids got out of the van, seeing my lovely Barbie's hair cut off because a sister was jealous, held my sister's hand while doing jobs because we kept fighting, listen to Dad's lecture #73 (Tree of Life), move water lines, run up the stairs first to make sure mom wasn't awake while we took candy from the drawer, or sit on the wheel in our green van... Even then!