I'm Done...... Now what!?

I'm done!  I've finished my Bachelor's of Science in Accounting with a minor in Business Administration from the University of Maryland University College (UMUC).  

My friend Brennan and I were able to walk on the same day - it was fun because we both graduated from the same program! 

Walking into the stadium, with the other graduates, I was grateful I decided to walk.  I was a little teary eyed, remembering all the reasons I had stopped going and all the reasons I started back up.  15 years ago I graduated high school and had my life planned out - go to college, get a degree in music and live happily ever after teaching people how music can influence a life.  That dream shattered when I found out I was going deaf in one ear and was told that I couldn't progress in the music program.  Blame it on my young dramatic self - but thought my life was over!  So, I had to leave Logan, moved to Salt Lake and tried to figure out what to do with my horridly plain life...  

Then one of the best jobs landed in my lap, Interior Solutions.  Interior Solutions is an office furniture business and I had the opportunity to move from receptionist to finance during my time there.  I loved my boss Larry, who showed me that I could have a future in accounting if I wanted.  So, I started taking classes at Salt Lake Community College. I enjoyed my beginning classes and talking about what I was learning with Larry and my co-worker Robert.  My years at Interior Solutions came to an end when I made the decision to move to the East Coast and work in a retirement community called Knollwood.  

I had put my schooling on hold again but knew that it was only temporary, so after living in Maryland for a while and applying to a few different schools.  I was able to start school again this time at UMUC, where classes were online and at night so I could still work while attending school.  I thought it would be easy, I missed going to school.  

The feeling of missing school quickly left as I got further along in the program.  Working full-time and going to school full-time is tough.  I felt like I wasn't really present when I was hanging out with my friends, sorry guys!  I was too worried about finishing papers, completing homework and finishing my discussion posts.  Then I had classes like Biology and Statistics which left in tears because the eight week course just wasn't enough to understand all of the material...  oh so many tears!  Thankfully, I had friends that are super smart and willingly spent HOURS helping me understand the material as well.  



This quote perfectly fits everything I've felt over the years:
 
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

I love my numbers, I love my ten-key calculator, I feel like I'm in a career that brings me as much joy as I would have had in music!  So what's next??  I don't know right now.  I have thoughts of completing my masters degree and then getting my CPA, but for now I'll just enjoy a summer of no school!  :)

Savior of the World

I am participating in a church production of the musical, "Savior of the World." 

I have always loved plays, but particularly I have always loved musicals.  I love singing and acting and really just having fun - so I decided to try out for the play.  The website for the information about dates and times can be found here:  www.sotwdc.com.

It is the first time I've actually performed in a play, as I don't count the mini plays for young women, girl's camp and various school activities.  It has been a lot of hard work and I am excited to get my Saturday and Sunday evenings back!  But tonight as I was watching everything coming together, I turned my focus on the words of the play and not so much on where and when I was standing or singing.

Before practice begins we start by having a mini devotional where cast members talk about how they have felt playing the various parts.  In doing so, it made me reflect on how my testimony has grown throughout the play.  I play an angel and at one point I am part of the angry crowd in the denial scene.  While playing the angel (when not being scared of falling off the scaffolding), my mind has wandered to thoughts of where I was in heaven when this was going on.  I hope that I was there, with my other brothers and sisters, feeling the pain and also the immense joy through the life of the Savior. 

There is a song in the musical called, "Who'll Deliver Him."  This song is sung in the denial scene where I am part of the mean/angry crowd.  We mock and tease the Believers for what they believe and who they believe in.  On the drive home tonight, that scene played over and over in my mind.  I have been there, I have played the mean girl in life.  I like to think I have changed, but every so often when I am getting caught up in the gossip at work, or the stress of trying to fit in, I find the ease of becoming mean catches up with me.  I have spent time away from church, weak in my testimony, trying to figure out what I believed in.  Time and personal experiences have made me realize that in the church is where I not only need, but want to be!  I can become a better person, and that it is okay that I am not perfect as long as I am trying to be better. 

Tonight, I really felt the message and the spirit of what we want to express in this production.  I was moved to tears when the actor portraying the Savior spoke to the disciples and said, "Peace be unto you."  I felt that he was saying those words directly to me.  Every day, I ask for forgiveness for not being the best and also ask for the strength and courage to be better. 

This musical is normally played around Christmas time in Utah, and for my friends there I encourage you to go.  For my friends here on the East Coast, come to this show.  Come and listen to inspired words and music proclaiming the love our Savior has for us.  Because that of all things is something I know and believe with all of my heart, our Savior lives and loves us individually even with all our faults.   

Boston Marathon

For almost a week now, I have tried to handle my emotions and figure out how I wanted to explain what I experienced.  My friends are awesome writers and you can read their experiences here:  Andy's Experience and Rachel's Experience.  Rachel even wrote this song that is very touching and beautiful, "Be Strong."

I got up at 5ish on Monday morning to wish Lindy good luck on her run and to finalize when we were going to see her to cheer her on.  I was so excited and a little teary-eyed because I know how big this race is and I was so proud.  I climbed back on the couch and fell back asleep. 

I woke up later to get ready and also make Lindy's signs.  Rachel, her roommate Chelsee, her friend Jacob, Andy and myself made the trek to the halfway point to cheer Lindy on!  On the drive over I could see a section of road above the freeway where the runners crossed - it was so beautiful I teared up a little bit. 

I was shocked to see how the entire town shut down and cheered as the runners went by - kids, families, friends, stores completely shut down and cheered.  Some runners had their names on their shirts, legs or arms and I cheered for everyone that I could by name!  I hoped that if someone saw Lindy's name on her leg that they would cheer her on for me and all of her friends both in Boston and back at home.  Sadly, even though we received the text saying Lindy had passed the halfway mark, we missed her in the sea of runners.  I was so sad that I wasn't able to personally cheer her on at that point and told myself that I wasn't going to miss her passing the finish line.

Rachel expertly and very quickly drove back to her apartment where we jumped on the T and headed to the finish line.  Once we got off at our stop it pretty much felt like we were cattle.  I quickly lost sight of everyone and joked with the guy in front of me about how "close" we were getting.  I apologized for constantly being pushed into him and he joked about how we were now practically family.  It was funny and helped lighten my panic as I kept thinking in my mind that if anything were to happen I was scared of being trampled.  Little did I know that those fears would become real. 

We got the text message that Lindy passed the finish line, so again we missed her as we were swimming against people trying to make our way down.  We decided to cut down this little alley shortly before the finish line to see if we could meet Lindy at the family meet up area.  I was hoping to go back there as I wanted to see the runners cross over and give a cheer for them since I missed Lindy's big finale! 

We met up with Lindy, she found us actually when we held up her signs to see if that would help her find us, which worked!  :) 

The look on Geno's face when he saw Lindy was priceless!  He was so proud and you could tell!  It made me cry.  And it was around that moment that I remember hearing the first bomb go off.  Honestly, I immediately thought it was a bomb but then knowing that I always jump to the worst in a situation, my next thought was that the scaffolding above the finish line fell which really wasn't any better.  A few seconds later I heard the second bomb and knew that something was seriously wrong.  People were trying to figure it out in our group - construction?  low flying plane?  I entertained those thoughts because I wanted to believe it was that, but knew something was terribly wrong and it was all I could do to stand there and listen.  I wanted to run, and I am not a runner, but I wanted to get out of that area as soon as possible.  We started slowly walking further away from the area as sirens, police, people started yelling and then it was confirmed that there was an explosion at the finish line. 

I went into shock then... 

I heard people around me talking and telling me what to do, but I don't remember if I responded.  All I thought of is how we needed to leave the area and get those I loved away from the danger.  Because I didn't know if this was going to stop or more bombs were going to go off...  and I couldn't let anyone hurt my friends or family because if I wasn't killed in a blast that killed anyone of our group, I wouldn't be okay.

Rachel's roommate Chelsee was a godsend, she knew the transportation system well and got us out of the area as quickly as she could.  I couldn't get calls to go out but was getting text messages here and there so I sent Erin a text to call mom and tell her we were all okay,  We did end up walking the last mile and I only remember crying a couple of times.  Not wanting my friends to see that I was in shock, because I didn't want them to worry about me or think of me as weak I kept quiet.  I was grateful that we made a new friend, Andrew, who had just moved to Boston and needed help navigating the town as he and Lindy had very similar interests and they talked nonstop.  I was glad because I am pretty sure I would have lost it if she started trying to talk with me.

We finally made it to Rachel's and Andy started pulling up the news reports to see what happened.  It was confirmed that there were two bombs and a possible third at the library.  I didn't know where that was in relation to the house, but to me it felt like it was next door.  I was finally able to get a call to my mom and spent the next few minutes not even being able to breathe because I was crying to hard.  I was scared, people had died, at that point they didn't know who did this and if there were more bombs. 

Lindy, Andy and I flew home the next day - the airport was full of runners, supporters trying to make their way home and also security.  We boarded our flight and while we were waiting to taxi to the runway, there were sirens and firetrucks going by.  The pilot got on and started to explain the situation and I felt myself going into shock again.  There was an unexplained fire on an airplane and all I could think about was that the terrorist got past airport security and no place was safe. 

I came back to DC and found that I couldn't sleep - sirens, garbage trucks, really anything would set off a wave of panic attacks and I didn't feel safe.  I went to Erin's house and they welcomed me and it is easy to relax with kids there to occupy your mind.  I also watched with them as we found out who set off the bombs and watched as the final individual was in custody. 

That night I cried again when everyone had gone to bed, I cried in gratitude for how quickly these two were caught.  I cried because he is so young and I want to know why they would do that.  I cried because people are right it was scary, but Boston and our nation are strong.  We rallied and helped in every way we could...  and I cried because I am so grateful to be a part of a nation like this. 

I found out that I will heal, it will take time, but I will be able to hear sirens again and not feel my pulse race, break out in a sweat and continue to breathe.  Because I, like Boston, choose to be strong.  

Memorial Day 2011

There are many things that I have wanted to do while living here in DC and this year I can mark one of those off my list.

I visited Arlington on Memorial Day - but not only to visit the Cemetery - but to be there for the Laying of the Wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. At the crack of dawn (after accidentally falling back asleep) I received my wake up call from Logan saying they were waiting for me to start the trek to Arlington Cemetery.

We made it to the Visitor's Center where they had literally THOUSANDS of various colors of roses for all to take (for free) to lay on the grave and also to keep for a memory of the day. They were absolutely beautiful... And one thing that I thought was sooo thoughtful was the fact that they handed out a little flyer (my immediate thought was that it was so EVERYONE knew who donated the flowers), but it was solely to tell people to take some and lay them on the grave. It was such a thoughtful gesture that it made tears come to my eyes.

We then hopped in line to take the shuttle up to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. It was a LONG line - and it was SUPER HOT - but we finally made it.

We were able to get into the actual amphitheatre and see in person the President of the United States.

Here are a couple of pictures of the event! It was amazing!


Michelle Obama made it there as well! I just never thought that I would be that close to the President and his wife.


It was a wonderful way to remember the sacrifices some have made so I can enjoy the freedom of America.

New Year - New Start!

Ah... I am starting with a clean slate! I LOVE the New Year. I love reflecting back and seeing the things I learned and reviewing the things I need to continue to work on.


I had a couple of friends over on New Year's Eve and while playing Phase 10 - which I completely lost, beginner's luck! – One friend asked what our greatest accomplishments were over the year. So, this was my reply:

1) Doing the Silent Auction at our Gala. I worked really hard on that and to see it actually set-up and not just pictured in my mind was excellent!

2) Alesa June's birth. I know that I annoyed Drew and my excitement was barely containable, but to have another sister deliver a baby (no, I wasn't in the room.. Thank heaven!) was very touching and amazing. Erin and I have grown close since I have moved out here and to see her become a mother was special to me.


3) Friends. I have made some pretty amazing friends this past year! I have grown comfortable and confident with whom I’m becoming and friends have had much to do with that growing process.

My friends shared their three things and I will only share a couple... One said that he was grateful for a wonderful boss and job. The other shared his gratitude of finding his religion and starting the process to become a member. So, we rang in the New Year with love and gratitude for the journey life has taken us on thus far. Here is to a wonderful and exciting 2010 - may it be even better and filled with joy throughout!