Emerging Adulthood

I'm still "Holding out for a Hero"

Tonight our lesson for Family Home Evening (FHE) was quite interesting. It was on being in the phase of single and the differences that there are from today's singles to a couple of decades ago. But even more specific to being a Latter Day Saint single to those outside of our religion/culture.

We had a guest who was a practicing therapist working on her doctorate degree on this very subject. I was intrigued....

She spoke of those that had a life plan figured out when they were younger of being married, gaining an education, raising a family, etc. Growing up, I had a life plan of being single for a few years and then getting married around 23-25ish and living happily ever after. Funny thing was it didn't happen...

She spoke of how being single was viewed as being able to be spontaneous and could travel the world with a moments notice, being independent. Whereas being married was viewed as having stability and interdependency. She then spoke of how she found that young women in this phase (ages 19-29) wouldn't plan for a stable lifestyle as they expected to start that when they were married. And it was an opposite response from the men in that same phase. So, I was quickly reviewing my own response to this and found that although I don't agree with most women, I have found myself holding back on certain purchases with that in back of my mind. Luckily, I have started to change that, especially recently, and starting to make purchases and live in a way that I have always wanted to and can.

She brought up the topic of who was responsible for still being single... Is it the men or the women? I have found that both parties are guilty of this. She spoke of the fear guys have of asking a girl out - and honestly I almost rolled my eyes. I have asked a guy out, been rejected, and moved on. It is one of those - if I can do it, so can you! If you are scared to death to ask her out in the first place, how do you expect a relationship to happen!? Take that first step - if you are confident in yourself - she will see that and appreciate it! If she says no, don't be afraid to try again - sometimes it really is a scheduling conflict!!

Although I have found that I am in the minority with this but - I find NO problem with a girl asking a guy on a date. If a guy has a hard time with that then I simply won't ask him... Ha! Because I feel like a relationship is mutual and that includes the asking.

So, it made me reflect on how I am feeling still being single and almost the big 30! *gasp*

And this is what I discovered. It's okay that I am still single. Do I sometimes feel frustrated - - - yes. But I am trying to get out there more and just be okay with being where I am and who I am. Eventually, there is going to be someone that will like what they see too. :)