Moved....

I moved into my own apartment this last weekend and so far I LOVE it!!

I know that my family is nervous to have me in my own place and for some valid reasons.  I just want everyone to know that I know this was a right step for me.  It is going to take some time to adjust, but I am so much closer to friends, church and school.

I had to laugh because while talking to my parents one night, my dad informed me that he looked up the address on Google Earth and stated that the parking lot looks really nice.  Ha ha!  Considering my dad's computer skills, I was really touched!

The move was nothing short of a miracle!  Four years ago I left Utah and pretty much everything fit in the back of my little car.  NOW - I filled a Uhaul truck, friends truck, Dru's work van, friends sedan and still have a couple of things left!

The night before I moved I couldn't sleep because I was so stressed that I would be alone until I had a couple of confirmed helpers coming after they got off work.  I was planning on it just being me and how I would have to walk to get the Uhaul because I didn't have anyone to drive my car back.  I finally fell asleep around 3 am...  5:45 am came all too early!! 

I got to work and was trying to stay focused on getting through my half day...  Then the miracles started happening! 

Long story short - at my townhouse I ended up having four strong missionaries, two friends that worked a half day at work and one awesome bro-in-law.  Everything kept flying out the doors and into the various vehicles for transportation and the missionaries kept it fun even it if was at my expense!  I told the Elders multiple times that girls are allowed to have lots of shoes and purses - I was preparing them for marriage!

Once we arrived at the new place it was just John, Paul and me to haul things up the four flights of stairs (no elevator)...  I was exhausted, sweaty and praying that I could make it up the stairs one more time.  Then when I was about to just bag it for the day and send the guys home, friends from the church started showing up and gave me the extra boost I needed.  The rest of the boxes flew up the stairs and before I knew it I just had the couch, giant TV and piano (yes, piano...). 

I ran to grab a friend that came on the metro and while I was gone the couch made it up the stairs - although I am told that it was nothing short of a miracle.  Next was the TV, it took almost everyone to get it up the stairs - at one point it looked like my friend Danielle was carrying it all on her back!  After seeing how hard it was after the first flight of stairs, I told them to stop and I would just get rid of it...  I did NOT want anyone to get hurt!  But they pushed on and it made it all the way to the top!  The piano was last...  I was dreading this all night (as I am sure they were as well)!  Luckily, two Elders returned to help move the piano and I was grateful.  As we were standing at the door leading into the complex, a friend suggested we say a prayer before moving the piano any further.  I couldn't believe I didn't think of that!! 

Watching everyone gather and looking around at all my friends that came to help me, my emotions were running pretty high and I just started to cry.  A beautiful prayer was said and then the piano went up the stairs, I paced around outside...  I couldn't watch and wasn't helping at all....  I ran up the stairs when I heard cheering and clapping!  They did it!  I think I even started to cry again (hey, I was exhausted)... 

I broke out more water and we sat down and relaxed for a little bit.  I was informed that I was never allowed to move again!!  I agreed!!  When I came back from dropping off the Uhaul and a couple of friends, I walked into see my living room set up and boxes stacked along one side.  I walked into the bedroom and my bed was setup and made (sans the sheets)...  I did start to cry again because I was so exhausted and again overwhelmed with the amount of love I felt that day.  I collapsed and didn't even hear the alarm the next morning...  It was better than anything I could have imagined at that point! 

I couldn't believe how well everything ended up!  I had an outpouring of love and support from friends in the church and I truly feel blessed. 

SO!  Friends and Family - stop by anytime I would love to have you come and check out the new place!  :)

Current Obsession!

Maybe it is because it stars Katherine McPhee and I LOVED her in American Idol! 

Daddy's Little Girl!

I honestly think that I am my Dad’s Favorite Girl…  Now, now, sisters – before you get in a tizzy, let me put forth a few examples. 

My father would pull us into his room and give us lecture # 73 – The Tree of Life.  I quickly learned to say I was lost in the Mists of Darkness/Sin and if that didn’t work to pray that my mother would come and break up the four-hour lecture.  I think that my father gave those lectures to me because he wanted to show the other siblings that he wasn’t treating me as his favorite. 

When I wasn’t getting lectures from my father I was working by his side.  I always felt like one of the boys growing up because I helped my father with the farm work, building water pivots, outdoor work, going to farms to “take care” of animals that I would later help cut up and wrap. 

I will never forget the time I learned what my father meant when he was always telling me not to wear loose clothing when changing water lines.  I refused to go out looking like I was working on a farm because I never knew when the neighbor boy would drive by in his tractor!  I realized a little to late that the stylish poncho he kept telling me not to wear was caught in the motor for the water line and my stomach was inches away from being ripped open…  Lo and behold who should drive by but my father!  At first he thought I was just waving to say hello but then realized that something was wrong and leaped from the tractor – I don’t think he even put the brake on!!  That day my father literally saved my life!  He was my hero! 

I also recall the time that we moved into their current house and my brother and I were helping put the barbed wire fence up.  I was in charge of holding the spool of wire – foolishly thinking I would safe if anything happened.  The line my father was tightening ended up breaking and flinging back to find a resting place in my back and shoulder.  My mother decided at that moment to walk out of the house to come over and check on us, my dad looked at me and said not to cry.  We pulled the wire off my back and quickly went back to work; I dared not speak in fear of giving away any sign of pain.  I think my dad was a little scared of my mom!  ;)  Therefore, I was his hero!

I will always remember my dad walking into my room, a month before I was to leave for Bryce Canyon, and literally “helping” me pack my bags.  Then a month later, after visiting me in my new location, giving me a hug and not wanting to let go! 

Sitting here typing this I realized my father has taught me a lot over the years.  He taught me to drive at the young age of twelve.  He taught me how to fish, shoot a gun, play the organ, conduct music (I love conducting MoTab on the radio with you Dad – we are pretty good at it too!), how to work hard, hum while you work, honesty and love. 

Dad, this Father’s Day I want you to look at all of your children and realize just how lucky we are to have you as a father.  I don’t think that you realize what an amazing man you have become over the years.  We have had some rough patches (note that was because of my other siblings – not because of me, the perfect daughter) but we got through them and grew as a family.  Together.  And that is how I picture the years going forward to be like for us…  Well, after the others get over the jealousy of my being your favorite.  J

I love you, you old fart! 

Mother, I Love You!

So, it has literally taken me a few days to figure out how to post a video...  I feel my mad computer skillz have gone down the drain!   :(

Mom,
I made this little video because I wanted to show you how much I love you!  Plus, I am hoping that I will be earning creative bonus points towards being your favorite child!!  :)
I hope you know that you are an amazing woman! 

This is for you...

A Change in Me!

Looking in the mirror, reflecting on interactions with friends and family – made me realize I need to make changes.  I mean, honestly, I don’t know one single person who doesn’t need to change a few things. 

I find myself avoiding mirrors, cameras, public events…  Because I am truly not happy with the way I look.  I do know that it also affects the way that others view me.  Which could be why I have had four individuals tell me that I am not an attractive person…  It hurt then and it still hurts today. 

I went to a painting workshop and was told to paint how we viewed ourselves – 95% of that class used dark colors and spirals leading downward.  I was surprised to see that I was not the only one unhappy with whom I was on the inside/outside.  

In speaking with a friend today and contemplating life and where I was compared to where I really wanted to be – I need a change!  Not in my surroundings, friends, and work – I need a change in me!

No matter what I do – shopping, school, new hairstyles, better job, friends, boyfriends, paying off debts, traveling, cooking, entertaining – I am not feeling or finding the change I am craving.  I am not feeling that deep-rooted change that makes me want to strive towards a better tomorrow…  Instead I settle for okay. 

Recently, I realized that what I wanted, that change, was going to take a lot of work – and that scared the hell out of me!  Not the actual work, but realizing that it was okay for me to want these things in life.  That I was a good enough and worth it! 

This time I am not making changes because of this person or that person…  I am making them for me.  I want to be able to look in the mirror again, really look, and like what I see. 

This time – I feel a glimmer of something inside of me that I haven’t felt before.  I will work on making this glimmer a burning desire.  Because I can!

WHAM!

This morning I woke up three hours later than I was planning on.  Dumb electricity went off during the night and my phone had died the previous evening and I didn't plug it in...  It was a rough morning! 

But then this little song has been playing in my head all morning and it really knows how to lift a person's mood!  I love it!!  :)

Don’t Forget to Brush!

Growing up I hated the family dentist… Actually, I don’t think that hate is a strong enough word in this scenario – I abominated the dentist!!!

He had an identical twin brother and I never knew which one I was going to see, not that it really mattered because they looked exactly the same! The only difference was one would talk to me about wanting to set me up with his son who was my age – I was like 8-9!? Seriously, who wanted to be set-up at that age anyway!

Random note: Okay, so maybe he knew me a little bit better than the other one… I was in kindergarten when I had my first “boyfriend’ and never thought that boys had cooties. Also, had I seen a picture of his son I would have immediately jumped at the chance! I met his son a few years later when my family moved and I transferred schools… He was a hottie!

Let’s see…. Where was I? Oh yes… The dentist!

My mother would force me into the car for a trip to Vernal and I dreaded every passing mile that brought me closer to their office. As soon as the door was opened, you would smell laughing gas. To this day, I can still smell it… Ick!

He would check things out and then if there was work to be done he would put on the gas. I hated that stuff – really hated it! He would always ask if I wanted it and I would always say NO! His reply was always that kids loved this stuff and I should just let him give it to me anyway… It really didn’t matter what I thought or said he would put the mask on anyway! Then for the next what felt like hours I would be breathing this nasty gas that made me feel like I was leaving my body behind – I never felt like laughing, I felt like crying! It was awful!!!

Fast Forward to college….

I went to my cousin’s husband who was a dentist in the area and he checked things out and I had to have a cavity filled. He proceeded to give me a shot and while the needle was in my mouth I felt a crazy shock go from my mouth to my head. I could literally trace its path with my finger. I jumped and he asked if I felt a shock, I told him yes. He asked that I trace it with my finger and when I did he left. He came back with another dentist and had me trace the path again – at this point I was SUPER nervous! I thought that I was going to have a blood clot and it would follow that path to my brain and I would be dead within the hour. I never understood what exactly happened that day – all I know is that literally half of my entire head was numb. There was a definite line on the left side starting at the top of my head all the way down my neck that was completely numb! I never went back!
Fast forward to today almost 10 years later…
Went to the dentist for the first time after having paid for dental insurance for the past four years. I tried, made appointments, couldn’t get my hands to let go of my steering wheel when I needed to go inside. But, I am almost 30! I am suppose to be a big girl and be able to go to the dentist by myself.
So, I made an appointment and actually went inside! I told myself that I would buy a new outfit complete with shoes if I would just go! Rewards really work for me! ;)
Three dentists and about six months later – I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have experienced infections, abscessed teeth, root canals, crowns, bridges – and sadly I am not even done.
If I could go back right now and change anything – I would definitely have changed my dental hygiene habit to make it even better. I always brushed, but am terrible with flossing! Well, that has changed….
For the next little while I will be nursing not only my mouth, but also my pocketbook back to health… Good grief dental work is expensive!!!