I'm Done...... Now what!?

I'm done!  I've finished my Bachelor's of Science in Accounting with a minor in Business Administration from the University of Maryland University College (UMUC).  

My friend Brennan and I were able to walk on the same day - it was fun because we both graduated from the same program! 

Walking into the stadium, with the other graduates, I was grateful I decided to walk.  I was a little teary eyed, remembering all the reasons I had stopped going and all the reasons I started back up.  15 years ago I graduated high school and had my life planned out - go to college, get a degree in music and live happily ever after teaching people how music can influence a life.  That dream shattered when I found out I was going deaf in one ear and was told that I couldn't progress in the music program.  Blame it on my young dramatic self - but thought my life was over!  So, I had to leave Logan, moved to Salt Lake and tried to figure out what to do with my horridly plain life...  

Then one of the best jobs landed in my lap, Interior Solutions.  Interior Solutions is an office furniture business and I had the opportunity to move from receptionist to finance during my time there.  I loved my boss Larry, who showed me that I could have a future in accounting if I wanted.  So, I started taking classes at Salt Lake Community College. I enjoyed my beginning classes and talking about what I was learning with Larry and my co-worker Robert.  My years at Interior Solutions came to an end when I made the decision to move to the East Coast and work in a retirement community called Knollwood.  

I had put my schooling on hold again but knew that it was only temporary, so after living in Maryland for a while and applying to a few different schools.  I was able to start school again this time at UMUC, where classes were online and at night so I could still work while attending school.  I thought it would be easy, I missed going to school.  

The feeling of missing school quickly left as I got further along in the program.  Working full-time and going to school full-time is tough.  I felt like I wasn't really present when I was hanging out with my friends, sorry guys!  I was too worried about finishing papers, completing homework and finishing my discussion posts.  Then I had classes like Biology and Statistics which left in tears because the eight week course just wasn't enough to understand all of the material...  oh so many tears!  Thankfully, I had friends that are super smart and willingly spent HOURS helping me understand the material as well.  



This quote perfectly fits everything I've felt over the years:
 
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

I love my numbers, I love my ten-key calculator, I feel like I'm in a career that brings me as much joy as I would have had in music!  So what's next??  I don't know right now.  I have thoughts of completing my masters degree and then getting my CPA, but for now I'll just enjoy a summer of no school!  :)

Women's Studies

I am nearing the end of my classes, next Spring is the finish line...  As I am finishing a few generals to get them out of the way I saw a Women's Studies class that sounded pretty interesting.  I must say that I am a tad disappointed.  I feel like it was a history class and not really pushing me to learn about laws and policies in place today for people like me.  Instead we discuss a lot of what happened and because of that we (women) have a stronger voice today.

I guess I might have enjoyed this class a little more face to face instead of online because I found that my views on certain topics are a pretty different from other women in the class.  Also, there are no men in this class - not surprising - but I would like to see what there perspective is on a couple of these topics. 

This week I brought up the subject of the Hobby Lobby ruling and found a lot of the class (we have about 35 women) didn't even know what I was talking about.  That was a little frustrating as you want to talk about current issues but no one is informed.  And if they just read a paragraph here or there they feel they are experts and go all raging feminist on you for simply asking questions or disagreeing with their arguments.

I did share the experience I had when job searching after moving to a new city and had an extremely uncomfortable interview.  It was me and the President of the company, he asked the usually interview questions and we chatted about how both of us had been to Australia.  He then proceeded to ask me my religion (red flag #1), if I was married or seriously dating anyone (red flag #2), if I got married was I planning on having children and leaving work (fireworks, all color flags raised, looking for an exit door).  I was completely shocked, I don't really remember how I answered but remember I said that my social life wouldn't interfere with my work.  I went back to the temp agency that I worked with and explained what happened, but it had already done it's damage. 

I obviously didn't get that job (THANK HEAVENS!!!).  But I won't ever forget how shocked I was to be asked something that had absolutely no bearing on my work performance at all and just because I was young and a woman.  So, I went and read about what is an appropriate way to handle situations like that and felt prepared if ever faced with those questions again. 

I believe everyone in some way has felt discriminated against or looked over because of gender, race, disability, etc. While we still have a long way to go, I can tell that the changes over the years are significant and if we keep teaching love and acceptance it will spread.  I don't think we will ever achieve world peace, but I believe that we are people that can start making the changes so it will benefit future generations. 

 

I sound like a man...

I always know that summer is finally here not just because of the weather, but because the allergies make me sound like a man.  Never fails...This morning I said hello to my roommate and she promptly started laughing...  I also tried singing and it didn't work at all, unless I wanted to sing an octave lower than normal!  :)

As long as it doesn't interfere with my breathing for my first 5k this weekend, I don't care if I can only make sounds like Beaker from the Muppets. 

Friends

I have recently made a decision that I need to put myself out there and make friends.  I moved into a new congregation/ward and found I no longer have the safety net provided by previous friends.  I found people that I want to get to know better - but I'm kind of an intense person.  Right!?!?

I love getting the 411 on the new person or seeing how people respond to various political views or news stories.  But I wonder if I might be the odd person?  People don't ask my opinion on things they usually will just answer my question or just say it doesn't matter and the conversation is over. 

For example, tonight I mentioned to a cast member that I heard he loves rock climbing.  I told him my roommate and I were talking about how we had been before and that I loved rock climbing shoes.  I felt I was providing him a way to talk about something he liked doing and all he said was, "Yep, I can't wait for the weather to warm up."  Done.  Walked away....  I felt like a fool at attempting to make a new friend. 

But, I'm not going to give up on learning how to make friends again.  I have been digging back to my elementary school days to see if there was something taught as a child that would make this easy.  But I don't think playing with Barbies, drawing pictures or kissing tag is really the way to handle things as an adult.  I mean, come on, I would have a few red flags raised if someone played with Barbies!  I tried my hand at various types of drawing, but I feel I'm just a little too abstract and people won't understand what I am trying to show.  (Right Andrew and Erin!?) 

But, kissing tag....  Hmmm.....  I might actually get somewhere with that one.  ;) 

This is a little list of things I am actually afraid I will do or people will think after meeting me:

a)  Look like a girl who doesn't know what she is talking about
b)  Display my endless supply of useless knowledge
c)  Think my love of numbers and my ten-key calculator as odd (well, yeah, they are odd...)
d)  Attempt to use a big girl word (like ambiguous - ha!) in a sentence and not in the right way
e)  Randomly burst into song and sing about whatever I'm doing
f)  Admit to just how much television I watch
g)  Teased for how I say certain words

I have a ton more, but who wants to see a list of a person's insecurities....

So, wish me luck as I head off to meet more people!  Here's to hoping a few may want to stick around and the group of friends will be up and running again! 


Please note:  This post isn't to make anyone feel bad for me.  I am just recognizing one of the many times I will have to start up and make friends all over again.  It's a good thing, just not an easy one!

Savior of the World

I am participating in a church production of the musical, "Savior of the World." 

I have always loved plays, but particularly I have always loved musicals.  I love singing and acting and really just having fun - so I decided to try out for the play.  The website for the information about dates and times can be found here:  www.sotwdc.com.

It is the first time I've actually performed in a play, as I don't count the mini plays for young women, girl's camp and various school activities.  It has been a lot of hard work and I am excited to get my Saturday and Sunday evenings back!  But tonight as I was watching everything coming together, I turned my focus on the words of the play and not so much on where and when I was standing or singing.

Before practice begins we start by having a mini devotional where cast members talk about how they have felt playing the various parts.  In doing so, it made me reflect on how my testimony has grown throughout the play.  I play an angel and at one point I am part of the angry crowd in the denial scene.  While playing the angel (when not being scared of falling off the scaffolding), my mind has wandered to thoughts of where I was in heaven when this was going on.  I hope that I was there, with my other brothers and sisters, feeling the pain and also the immense joy through the life of the Savior. 

There is a song in the musical called, "Who'll Deliver Him."  This song is sung in the denial scene where I am part of the mean/angry crowd.  We mock and tease the Believers for what they believe and who they believe in.  On the drive home tonight, that scene played over and over in my mind.  I have been there, I have played the mean girl in life.  I like to think I have changed, but every so often when I am getting caught up in the gossip at work, or the stress of trying to fit in, I find the ease of becoming mean catches up with me.  I have spent time away from church, weak in my testimony, trying to figure out what I believed in.  Time and personal experiences have made me realize that in the church is where I not only need, but want to be!  I can become a better person, and that it is okay that I am not perfect as long as I am trying to be better. 

Tonight, I really felt the message and the spirit of what we want to express in this production.  I was moved to tears when the actor portraying the Savior spoke to the disciples and said, "Peace be unto you."  I felt that he was saying those words directly to me.  Every day, I ask for forgiveness for not being the best and also ask for the strength and courage to be better. 

This musical is normally played around Christmas time in Utah, and for my friends there I encourage you to go.  For my friends here on the East Coast, come to this show.  Come and listen to inspired words and music proclaiming the love our Savior has for us.  Because that of all things is something I know and believe with all of my heart, our Savior lives and loves us individually even with all our faults.   

Become Informed...

Very rarely, will I share my feelings on politics in an open place with people that a) aren't family, b) aren't family and c) aren't family. 

But I couldn't keep my blog silent tonight.  The past few days, although it seems like years, I have been seeing post after post about the government and Obamacare wrecking our innocent lives.  I have seen posts on Facebook from friends that are saying how scared they are because of all these changes to insurance and increases in their taxes and also how secret government people are going to come to your house and do "home inspections" and etc., etc., blah, blah, blah....  The list goes on and on and on....

For example, I saw a friend post this article and state that she is nauseous over it.  I, of course, thought that in all of my reading and following different things happening here in D.C. I never heard this come up in any discussion on Obamacare and that definitely caused me to really question if that was true.  So, I did research.  Quick little search on Google pulled up an immediate response on Snopes that said the article was false.  And honestly, do you really think that something like random home health visits to people just because they smoke or are young parents would slip by unnoticed and not one person in the entire nation would pick up on that or say anything?  No...  If you said yes - shame on you! 
Just because we vote to place representatives in both State and Federal positions - doesn't mean we just cross our fingers and hope they do what they say they are going to do when we cast our vote.  AFTER the elections, it is as much our job to follow, educate ourselves and understand what is happening on both the state and federal level each day, as it is the representatives job to make sure that the needs of their state are being addressed.  

People hear the word "government" and think of it as a body of one.  Not as it actually is - hundreds of people...  People are the mouthpiece for their city, county, state, nation.  We mainly hear about the corrupt politicians on the news and I know they are there, but there are also good ones that are behind the scenes doing everything they can to make a difference.  I truly believe that every vote counts and if a person doesn't vote because they don't think their vote will matter - they have no right to complain if they don't like the way things are being handled.

I am tired of people just seeing something posted on Facebook or a website that isn't credible and believe it as truth.  We have the right to question, do research, write letters, create petitions, email, and/or call our representatives!  So, go and get informed!  Don't just sit back and see how it the new tax laws or health insurance premiums are going to affect you and your family!  Figure it out the old fashioned way with a pen, paper and calculator!  Stop being sheep and start asking questions, do the research and then if you want go ahead and state your opinions.  Because then and only then - will I tolerate your ramblings and opinions. 

Posting from under my rock

Ugh!  Today, I literally had to leave church because I am pretty sure I became the person that people talk about when they reflect on crazies in the ward.  I was responding to a simple question in church and my brain froze, my emotions surfaced and it was a train wreck!

I won't go into any further explanations, but I really wish I could erase that entire class period.  Or have a little Men in Black flasher that would make people forget what they heard and saw.  It was embarrassing!

So, I plan on staying under my rock for a while.