My Middle Ground...

It’s been a while since I’ve updated my blog.  Work has been hard, but that isn’t what I want to focus on.  This week more than any other I’ve been thinking about what I need to do to shift my focus from temporary happiness to everlasting. 

I was talking with a friend yesterday about something said at church and how it made me feel like I was less of a person.  You know what he said - why do you care!?  Not going to lie, his frankness is sometimes just as frustrating to me as the initial problem I was "presenting" for discussion.  So, I asked myself that after dropping him off, why did I care?  Turns out the answer was a simple one, I don't want to look like I am a mean person.  Might sound silly to some, but it is a genuine fear of mine.  I don't ever want to give someone the impression that what they think or feel does not matter in the grand scheme of things because everyone matters.  I know how that feels, I know how it is when you are screaming your head off and no one really cares.  I don't want to think of others feeling that way because of me or my actions. 

I’ve been there, that moment when you feel like everything is going your way – you can’t believe you could be that happy!  I’ve also been there when it comes crashing down around you and you want to sleep away the hurt, anger and frustration.  Between those two phases is the middle ground – I like to think of it as the “I’m okay” ground.  This between phases is what I am trying to find right now, a place where I am content even though things aren’t perfect, a place where I’m okay.  For a long time I thought that the being okay meant that I was giving up on things ever getting better.  I realize now that it was the time in my life where I learned about hope and about becoming more humble.  I hoped for things to get better and they usually would, but it wasn’t in the timeline I outlined for myself.  No one likes to learn humility the hard way - except me.  Apparently, I'm going for the gold medal! 

 

As many of us see throughout life, lessons learned often need to be relearned…  That is where I see myself now, in the relearning my middle ground and that’s okay by me because that means that things will get better.

Goals

Day 8 - Short Term Goals for this month and why.

I am a list person, I love to be able to check things off my list and have it look like I accomplished a ton of things. Some of my lists contain things such as "File Claims for this month" and other times they are things like "Eat Lunch."

But these are simple goals for the month.

1 - Exercise every day
2 - Eat better
3 - Drink Water
4 - Only two (2) Diet Cokes a week

Gonna do it! My simple goals! :)

Drop and give me TEN!

YES, SIR!!!

At least that is suppose to be my response, although what I am actually thinking is something completely different. My friend Molly and I started to go to Sargeant's Bootcamp.

I was all anxious on the first day, to say that I am out-a-shape is the understatement of the year, and I didn't know what to expect. I read all about the program online and Molly had been in the program once before and filled me in on what she could.

We met up with Sargeant Chuck and about 15 other brave individuals. We ran, stretched and silly me, I thought "I can do this!" We then started doing push-ups, crazy arm movements, more running, more push-ups, jump rope, jumping jacks, more push-ups, more running, curb push-ups... Ugh - just thinking about those makes me extremely exhausted and my arms shake with fear!! Think that I am kidding about brave?? Nope! I totally puked about 30 minutes into the hour! Thankfully we are by a nice little tree patch - so it wasn't like it hit the pavement...

I just can't stand to look at pictures of myself! I also hate that the old people at work are walking faster than I am! (Okay, not really, but it feels like it!)

But I am truly inspired by my brother Logan! I want to run in a Ragnar and also Rebel Race!! I made awesome (at least I thought they were) signs for my friend while she ran in a mud race - I remember thinking then that the next time I went to one it was because I was participating! And those of you who don't know what Ragnar is all about - do some research!! Talk about AWESOME!!!! I was a volunteer for that race and LOVED the enthusiam the teams had for their members and other teams! LOVED IT!!!

So, those are my goals - oh - and of course WIN Merkley's Biggest Loser!

So Sargeant Chuck... Come Rain, Shine, Puke, Weak Arms, Outta Breath, Brink of collapsing.... To you I say - BRING IT!!!!