Confused.....

In talking with a friend recently, our conversation turned to dating, as usual, and how hard it seems to be nowadays.  We talked about hanging out vs. single dates and how we have heard that there is pressure if a guy asks a girl out.  

I have thought this often and have talked with girls until I feel like we are having the same conversations over and over again.  I have asked guys on dates not because they were the “one” but because I wanted to get to know them better and have their attention for longer than 15 minutes.  I have also asked guys on hanging out dates because I didn’t know how a single date would go so felt like I needed the reinforcements.

I wish I could go back to the day when a guy could simply (and would actually) ask a girl on a date, simply to do something.  It wasn’t because they wanted to seriously date you, marry you, or even have a one night make out session aka NCMO…  those were fun though….  (uh, sorry Mom).    

I was thinking about how I have shown interest in guys in the past and that was terrible for me, I became more of a sugar mama then someone that they would want to date.  Great for them, not for me or my pockets.  I typically liked guys that were still in school and felt bad that I had a “real” job and they didn’t.  I didn’t want them to feel like I needed to go to fancy places, but that is exactly what I did with them.  I can honestly say that dating is not easy, but that it is something that should be practiced regularly.  This is something I think is very important to continue even after finding your future spouse and getting married!  

The last guy I dated that I felt treated me the way a girl should be treated was 14 years ago.  I would love to change that number!    

What is it now that makes dating so scary?  Why is it that I feel like there is a better chance of my meeting someone who will actually want to get to know me in a virtual world than in the real world?  There are plenty of men around me that I find attractive and that I would like to have the opportunity to get to know better, but they only seem to flock around five girls in my church.  What is it about them??  

I sometimes blame my being older and more cynical, but then I realize everyone has their faults.  I try hard to look past those of others, so why can’t they look past mine?  I haven’t been asked out on a date in almost a year and I felt that was more of a pity date than anything else, which still was fun for me. 

 

Also, I have that girl that was asked on a date and things went well, at least I thought, continued to see the person after and do things together.  Embarrassingly enough, I will admit I thought that was the beginning of a relationship and when I was informed that I was wrong, they couldn’t understand why I would feel that way.  Completely making me feel like an idiot and kind of hurt for being confused on the situation between us. 

So, what is it about dating these days that makes it hard for guys to realize that sometimes a girl just wants a date and not a relationship??  Or that there needs to be clarification - that if you go out just the two of you, multiple times a week/month, exactly what his/her intentions are in the relationship. 

Someone please explain this to me…  because I am totally confused….